Saturday, August 1, 2009

ugh.


I have to admit. I'm having a hard time being a mommy right now. I feel defeated and worn down and don't feel like I'm making any progress. I'm so tired of being mean. I'm tired of no one listening to me. I'm tired of yelling at my kids. I'm tired of feeling like a single mom.

What really gets me is that there are these amazing moments with each of my kids... moments that remind me how blessed I am. Hayes picking a flower and placing it in my hair, Embry grabbing a book and snuggling up to read with me, Ellie just out of the blue saying, "I love you Mama."

Oh, but how quickly I forget when things don't go as they should.

Why can't those moments stick with me during the difficult times and help me to focus on the mother I long to be?

A mother who embodies the fruit of the Spirit.

It seems impossible really with our day to day battles but if I've learned anything, I know that nothing is impossible with God. So I am committing to spend the time to learn about each of these fruits. I pray that God will work on my character and that my children will see his work through my actions.


Galatians 5:22-23
22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

15 tellin' me what I want to hear!:

Kilo said...

Sorry babe, I know u have a hard time. I love you. Maybe we can have a good afternoon tomorrow when I get home. I think things will change with the school routine. Good night.

Jessi said...

Oh, girl, can I tell you how much I appreciate your honesty and willingness to share that you are going through a rough time right now. I know it doesn't help much to say that I've *definitely* been there (oh, who am I kidding, I've been 'there' for the past year)...just know that I'm praying for you...praying that you remember those amazing moments at just the 'right' time. *wink*

A song the kids (yep, Laney, too) and I like to sing is the Fruit of the Spirit Song....it's a fun way to teach (and remind) us of those fruits. Hope you enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1t8MVZRNb4

Sappies said...

Hang in there, you're a GREAT mother! They will thank you someday for raising them the way you have!

Love you,
La

P.S. We should do mops together...it would be great for both of us, and we'd get a chance to hang out without all the kids.

LauraD said...

You are such a special lady, Trisha!

RLR said...

Thanks for being so transparent, and letting us know that we are not the only ones who struggle! I've had a rough week, too.

Nana said...

Trisha, you are doing a great job. Seriously, what Mom doesn't feel this way especially when you're like a single mom? The only consolation is that God says he won't allow you to be tempted beyond what your can handle. I thought I would have a "Leave it to Beaver" family if I just raised my family in the word and in church, well we know it wasn't easy like that. Its times like these that we seek God (as you are). If we didn't have trials, we wouldn't need him. Love you

Milk Maker said...

you are an awesome Mom! i will keep you in my prayers. love ya!

Milk Maker said...

Just read Laura's comment...you should do MOPS! it has been such a blessing my life. Can't imagine the last year without it!

Alexandra said...

Sounds like a lot of us are going through the same thing right now, keep the faith and trust in Him! You are a fabulous mom, we all have rough patches, hand in there!

Dion said...

This is EXACTLY what I was feeling a few days back. I, however, wasn't able to put it into words like you.

Many hugs for you today! Love ya!

Katie L said...

You have such an ability to express yourself and I love that. It's not easy to put into words the struggles we go through and you have done it beautifully! You are an amazing mommy (and friend).

Cindi said...

I've been feeling just that way, like all I do is yell and correct the kids...definitely not how I picture motherhood.
I've tried to take advantage of any one on one time I get lately so I can remember what makes them each precious.
Lord help us moms :)

Minnie said...

"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matt 11:28

Minnie said...

You are an amazing Mother and I have sat back and watched you go through so many ups and downs these past years when you have had to take care of the kids by yourself so much. I have been so impressed of all the things that you are always coming up with to entertain or teach the kids, but most of all, that you want to be with your children and be a big part of their lives. I know that they may not act like it at all time, but they love you and love that you want to teach them so much. H,E&E are just going through a 'trying" stage, but they know that you love them. YOU ARE NOT A MEAN MOMMIE EITHER! I can see the love that you have for each one of them in your face, and so can they. God knows your heart and is ALWAYS there with you, just a prayer away. Dad and I are ALWAYS there for you, just a phone call away. I just wished that I lived nearer to you so I could give you more help and rest than I do, but one day, I will just be a hop-skip & jump away!

I LOVE YOU MORE...
MOM

Melisa said...

You are just so amazing. Sooooo amazing. It is like you can read my mind and make it sound better too. Hugs to you, sweetie. If you ever need to vent, I'm only an email away. :o)

 
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