ugh.

I have to admit. I'm having a hard time being a mommy right now. I feel defeated and worn down and don't feel like I'm making any progress. I'm so tired of being mean. I'm tired of no one listening to me. I'm tired of yelling at my kids. I'm tired of feeling like a single mom.

What really gets me is that there are these amazing moments with each of my kids... moments that remind me how blessed I am. Hayes picking a flower and placing it in my hair, Embry grabbing a book and snuggling up to read with me, Ellie just out of the blue saying, "I love you Mama."

Oh, but how quickly I forget when things don't go as they should.

Why can't those moments stick with me during the difficult times and help me to focus on the mother I long to be?

A mother who embodies the fruit of the Spirit.

It seems impossible really with our day to day battles but if I've learned anything, I know that nothing is impossible with God. So I am committing to spend the time to learn about each of these fruits. I pray that God will work on my character and that my children will see his work through my actions.

Galatians 5:22-23

22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

fashionista

Ellie is really into dressing herself lately. I love to see the emsembles she comes up with. The black Nike ankle bands seem to be a favorite accessory.

when mama's away, the streakers will spray

I went to check on the kids after I hung up the phone and this is what I found... they were fully-clothed and dry a few minutes before.

I promise my Twilight infatuation had nothing to do with my absence. :)

"But I don't waaaaaaant to go inside!"

beach life

We had the best time in Pensacola this week. We got together with Kyle's family... 14 of us in this incredible beach house. Beach in front, fishing in back.

There were several firsts on this trip. Hayes, Embry and Ellie experienced their first plane ride... Mommy and Daddy experienced their first thoughts of leaving someone at the airport intentionally.... but I won't point any fingers. Just kidding. I think. :)

Embry and Ellie experienced the beach for the first time. They preferred the sand over the water. Hayes couldn't get enough of the water, which was a complete one-eighty from last year. Kyle and I loved watching him enjoy himself so much.

It was a bit crazy at times with all the kids, but it was such a special time that we are so thankful for... the walks on the beach, jumping across the dock with no one falling in, Peg Leg Pete's, celebrating Maddox's first year, color-shift hot wheels, the shirts that Laura made for the kids, the Hello Kitty dvd, Kyle's olives, catching flounder off the back dock, outdoor showers, collecting sea shells and relaxing on the balcony.

I think my favorite day was Friday. It started out with an off-shore fishing trip with the boys, followed by a massage with the girls. We had the best dinner that night at Flounder's... delicious food right in the sand.

Thank you Grandpa and Nana for an amazing trip.
This is the stuff memories are made of. :)

We love you guys,
Kyle, Trisha, Hayes, Embry & Ellie

cicadas and toilet paper

In completely unrelated news...

"I accidentally used all of the toilet paper."

"How much did you use?"

"A lot."

"Hayes, we need to be careful to not use a lot of paper. If you clog the toilet up, it will cost a lot of money to have someone come and fix it."

"Well, we can just use the Turbo Snake. It has specially designed hooks that grab onto hair and gunk. You can also use it for the shower."

snow cones

fit to be tied

"Ellie, you look so silly throwing a fit."

"Waaaaaahhh."

"Come on, you can do better than that!"

Waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!"

After a minute or two of encouraging these shenanigans, she started laughing and forgot all about the fit. She can be quite the little drama queen. She literally jumps up and down and flails her arms about... and occasionally falls to the floor. It can be quite the show.